The Myth of Strength

Why do so many female riders carry this belief that strength means being unbreakable?

Like admitting you're nervous, anxious and feeling emotional is a sign of weakness.

What if our emotions were what makes us strong?

Intuitive.

Excellent communicators and partners.

The "Fine" That Wasn't Fine

For over 15 years I truly believed that showing my emotions was weakness.

Instead I would tell everyone I was fine - I'm getting on with things.

But with the horses this "fine" getting on with things approach came crashing down.

Horses exposed me instantly.

They reflected my inner world without me even touching them.

The Yoga Discovery

I actually started noticing this with yoga.

I got serious about yoga 5 years ago now, and immediately noticed the difference in my treatments on the days I practised compared to the days I didn't.

On the days I told myself I was too busy for a 5-10 min yoga routine before working with horses, I noticed me trying to use more force, doing bigger adjustments, or trying to get the focus of the horse.

In reality the horse was mirroring my internal chaotic state.

On the days I did yoga, the treatments were easier, the horses more responsive, calm and the interactions between the horse, rider and myself were deeper, more connected.

I noticed quickly that there's a difference between force and trying to be heard, and clarity - moving with intent, slower.

Between a rider who's performing confidence and a rider who is confident.

What Real Strength Looks Like

I've seen horses lean into the most delicate riders, women who had no physical strength to brag about, but who carried a depth of presence and honesty in their bodies.

The horse trusted them because there was nothing fake to decode.

Everything was congruent. Real.

The Mirror Never Lies

Our horses are our mirrors.

They don't reflect what you say - they reflect who you are.

You can tell your horse you're confident, but if your body is telling a different story, they'll listen to the body every single time.

That's why I say: Your horse doesn't need a stronger version of you.

Your horse needs a truer version of you.

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