When Pushing Through Makes It Worse

I woke up with anxiety clawing at my chest this morning.

Did what I always do, tried to move my body, tried the whole positive thinking. Basically just push myself harder.

Nothing worked. The anxiety kept building, I felt tighter, heavier and no amount of mental gymnastics could touch it.

Then I found myself on the bathroom floor crying, like really crying.

The Moment Everything Changed

One of those situations where my partner didn't know what to say or do, he just stood there, not knowing what to say. He was actually holding space, giving me permission to be exactly what I needed to be.

He witnessed and that's when the release happened. My body softened, the tension dissolved and clarity returned. I got up, wiped my face, and went back to my plan. The rest of the day was productive.

Because I stopped fighting.

The Pattern I See Everywhere

After 30 years working with horses and riders, I see this exact pattern constantly.

Their horse is tense, resistant, shut down. So most riders try to train it away, a new technique, just push through it.

Exactly what would have destroyed me on that bathroom floor.

When I work with riders, I watch this pattern constantly. They're trying to think their way through what needs body release. The rider gets in their head, their horse gets tighter, which only creates more pressure, more resistance.

What Actually Works

When the rider stops, removes the pressure and just breathes, stays present, the horse comes forward. I see a change in their posture, they are softer. This is where real communication happens.

Through presence that allows release.

Your Horse Isn't Broken

You and your horse aren't broken. Your horse is showing you exactly what they need.

The same thing your body shows you when anxiety hits. When tension builds, when something needs to move through.

You have to feel your way through.

As both a professional rider who represented Great Britain and an equine chiropractor, I've learned this lesson the hard way. Not just with horses, but with my own body through burnout and PCOS.

What This Means For Your Riding

The Horse Listener teaches this complete framework. How to understand what your horse is telling you before you even touch them. How to read their state, how to create the conditions for release and how to hold space instead of applying pressure.

Six weeks to stop fighting and start listening.

Because the truth is simple: Release happens through the body. Connection happens through feeling.

About Nika Vorster

Nika represented Great Britain as an equestrian and won races as a flat jockey. After experiencing burnout and PCOS, she discovered that horses mirror their riders' states. Today, she teaches riders how to develop complete understanding and effortless communication with their horses in 6 weeks through The Horse Listener program.

Learn more at https://www.nikavorster.com/newsletter